Setting Dating Goals

                        

We all have set New Year's resolutions - weight loss, save money, be organized - but do you set relationship resolutions?

Think about it, have you been dating the same type of personality over and over with the same outcome? You end up alone. Maybe it's time to reflect on what type of person you should be dating.  You could start with a pros and cons list. What attributes or personality traits are non-negotiable? Humor, sarcasm, easy-going, spontaneous, energetic...  Which traits are you thinking you should stay away from? Needy, vanity, a spender, a drinker...

Ok, once you have your list, it's time to reflect, really make sure you've been honest with yourself. Don't beat yourself up, it may take a few tries to get your list realistic.  Remember, you're finally being honest with yourself. 

I  know, the bad boy is exciting - dangerous, unpredictable, exciting - but he also cheats and treats you like crap. I know, I know, the good guy is dull, predicable, and routine. There is a happy medium, you just have to look.

If you're straying away from your usual type to find a guy that not only lights your fire but treats you well, don't be surprised if it takes a few tries. We tend to fall back into old habits because its comfortable. You'll need to practice. 

Be patient with yourself and keep your list handy. Guard your heart, it isn't as picky as your head. It's easy to fall in love if you don't think about it, but remember, you're planning for a successful future. It's ok to fail along the way, but keep reaching for the stars. He's out there. 

Take 2 is Linda Bolton’s first novel is available on Amazon. She is currently working on her second book to be released spring 2014. When she’s not writing, Linda is a GiGi, playing with her new granddaughter Z, and working full-time. While working on a future projects Linda can be found:

Meet me on: On Facebook ;  Twitter; 

Her romance blog at http://www.lindabolton.blogspot.com

On Goodreads

Would you Date yourself?

If you’re single and over 40 and maybe just out of a relationship, and reading this, you’re probably looking for useful information on how to improve your chances of finding a mate. There are gazillion websites and self-help books out there offering their expertise. Therefore it’s surprising to me that not all resources have been dredged for advice and that singles are still not sure of how to go about it.
Instead of giving tips today about appearance, behavior, conversation etc. on a date, I want to ask you a question that may surprise you: Would you date yourself?
Step 1: Take a critical look at yourself from somebody else’s perspective. Get the big looking glass out! And I don’t mean just for your looks or sense of dress. Look deeper: How does this person project herself? Does she seem to be a happy person? Is she content with her life? Is she somebody I would like to get to know? Spend time with? What are her strong suits?
It’s not a secret that people see themselves differently than other people do. May I say through tinted glasses?
Step 2: Look at your expectations. What do you expect from a partner? Is your list of requirements a mile long and realistic? What are the non-negotiables and what is merely the icing on the cake, sorry,I mean on a mate for you? Where would you compromise? Can the standards of this person be met without resorting to a magic wand or cosmic intervention? Are there things about yourself that you could change and improve?
If you cannot answer these questions honestly — and I admit it is dashed difficult—I suggest you get some help. Be that a trusted friend for a good heart-to-heart discussion or a professional consultant for a make-over. You need someone with an unbiased critical eye to assess what you have to offer, but above all, you need honesty for this to be working.
By taking this approach to dating, the perspective shifts away from an ever demanding me and instead, focuses subtly on your counterpart. Our “Because You Are Worth it!” generation needs a colossal shift in consciousness and become more aware of reality and what is achievable.

Are there any normal people ?

I got some feedback from readers since my novel was published as a paperback last month. See the You Tube clip on the right: Dating Martians? Also above and on Amazon.
One woman asked me,"The book was great; but are there any normal people out there?" Obviously she meant:Men. In my experience there are, but they may not be compatible, they may have exaggerated big time, left out little inconveniences and put on antediluvian pictures. But women do that too. And that's also my experience.
So the answer to that particular conundrum is that woman has to be extra careful, skeptical and not only apply a grain but a barrel of salt. As I write in my novel, men seem to be getting the better deal in life and can easily have the upper hand on dating sites--so we have to be smart!And exchange our individual experiences. As the novel is based on many of my encounters--on which I'm spilling the beans--I would love to hear from other readers and online daters.