If you’re single and over 40 and maybe just out of a relationship, and reading this, you’re probably looking for useful information on how to improve your chances of finding a mate. There are gazillion websites and self-help books out there offering their expertise. Therefore it’s surprising to me that not all resources have been dredged for advice and that singles are still not sure of how to go about it.
Instead of giving tips today about appearance, behavior, conversation etc. on a date, I want to ask you a question that may surprise you: Would you date yourself?
Step 1: Take a critical look at yourself from somebody else’s perspective. Get the big looking glass out! And I don’t mean just for your looks or sense of dress. Look deeper: How does this person project herself? Does she seem to be a happy person? Is she content with her life? Is she somebody I would like to get to know? Spend time with? What are her strong suits?
It’s not a secret that people see themselves differently than other people do. May I say through tinted glasses?
Step 2: Look at your expectations. What do you expect from a partner? Is your list of requirements a mile long and realistic? What are the non-negotiables and what is merely the icing on the cake, sorry,I mean on a mate for you? Where would you compromise? Can the standards of this person be met without resorting to a magic wand or cosmic intervention? Are there things about yourself that you could change and improve?
If you cannot answer these questions honestly — and I admit it is dashed difficult—I suggest you get some help. Be that a trusted friend for a good heart-to-heart discussion or a professional consultant for a make-over. You need someone with an unbiased critical eye to assess what you have to offer, but above all, you need honesty for this to be working.
By taking this approach to dating, the perspective shifts away from an ever demanding me and instead, focuses subtly on your counterpart. Our “Because You Are Worth it!” generation needs a colossal shift in consciousness and become more aware of reality and what is achievable.
Why is it so difficult to meet somebody today?
In spite of all the networking possibilities and social media?
If you are Single, Divorced or Widowed and want to get back into the Dating game, if you're looking for that elusive partner, you will be interested to hear how a pro went about it. I was a matchmaker in Ireland and had my own dating agency. I'm sharing my experience and insider views with my readers. For more info see my book's website: www.NextTimeLucky.com!
I had the honor of being asked to come on the local NBC show First Coast Living twice in the last week to give dating advice. If you missed it, you can read all that stuff in my book.