Why Knot?

Indeed, why not?
With Valentine's Day rolling around again, some couples (or singles!) will ask that question.
Woman in a relationship: "Should we get married?"
Single woman: "When will I get married?"
Not that we need the craze of an ubercommercalized Day of Love, at some stage in our lives we are bound to be thinking about love and where it leads us...or doesn't.

We all love to love. And when we finally have tracked down our soulmate, somebody eventually pops the question. What follows is a nuptial superfest with all the trimmings, foreshadowing the romantic picture of everlasting married bliss, with a couple of delightful children frolicking on a green lawn behind a picket fence....and a dog or two.

But is it really worth it to tie the knot? A wedding bonanza easily sets you back by $30,000 - 50,000, although creative DIY- aficionados/as can ease the pain considerably.
The latest statistics claim that marriage survival rates have risen to a whopping 60%. When I was a matchmaker, your chance was barely 50% - enough to make a whole generation of divorce-struck off-spring remain single. Plus married people tend to live longer.

Getting married - or at least cohabitating - makes people financially more secure than their single living counterparts. According to Pew Research same-sex college-educated couples have the highest median adjusted household income. (The study was done before same-sex marriage was legalized).
Still, for most couples, getting married is the endgame.
Let's not think of the bank-breaking costs of a nasty divorce yet.

This article was inspired and photo taken from my local magazine called VOID Feb2016. Yes, funny name that...

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With Valentine’s well over, dear Singles, you now have the rest of the year to find a partner. V-Day can be an emotional bummer if there is no real love interest on the horizon. As I wrote before, the commercialism surrounding this heavenly day of celebrating love is freaking out even experienced men and women who are married or in a steady relationship due to all the hype and expectations surrounding it.

I had hope to have my paperback book out by now, but some technical glitches delayed the procedure. It’s available, however, already since January on Amazon and B&N as an eBook.

This week I was blessed to be asked to come on to Dr. Tranquility’s Dating- Coaching show again after only 3 months. Here’s the link to that podcast. Kick back, grab a glass of wine or hot chocolate and listen to two pros answering callers’ questions.  My advice that I could only hint at is in my new version of Next Time Lucky – if you want more details.

Today I ran across a very informative and entertaining clip about:

What happens to the brain when we’re in love? Produced by the TED Corporation known for its quality lectures.

Will keep you posted about the availability of my paperback version. Just heard the 1str draft is in the mail. Hope it’s not too long a wait until it hits the shops.

Much love!

Valentine’s Day, synonymous with love and romance, is once again bombarding us with all things red and pink remotely associated with amore and desire. Sandwiched between Christmas and St. Patrick’s Day, it is one of the most commercialized days of the year. A frenzy that takes hold of the country every year leading up to the 14^th of February:  from cards to flowers, teddy bears to underwear, chocolates to jewelry, and not to mention red balloons labeled, “For the one I love this Valentine’s.” And now “Love locks” or Valentine padlocks started cropping up in the most romantic cities of Europe like in Paris or Rome. This is how it works: Lovers have their names engraved in a padlock, lock it to some bridge, monument or fence and throw away the key. Ah…tied together forever. Ain’t that sweet?
So far I haven't heard objections to this new trend from environmentalists. Surely tons of discarded metal keys thrown into rivers present some damage to the environment? How about the clean up? Are these love toys here to stay?

Inventive marketers sell this novelty gimmick as ‘a unique twist on a centuries old tradition that symbolizes the locking of your life and love’. A variation on tying the knot? Well, a ring never was a guarantee for eternal love and romance anyways. Divorce statistics are proof for that. An old fashioned locket with a locke of hair or picture  of the beloved ─ now that’s what I would call a romantic token of oneness.

"Does anybody waste a thought about those among us that don’t have a beloved? A love of their life? Not even a temporary one?  What about those who never even had a love of any kind? Or about those who have lost one?

When I grew up in Germany, I never even knew that this heavenly day existed. I can’t say when it reached the German shores; probably in those years when I was already married and had moved to Ireland. I received my first Valentine’s card at 35 from an elderly gentleman who picked up his grandchildren from the same school that my kids frequented. It read “To the one I am dreaming about.”

Mortified, yet tickled pink, I took it home to my husband who was working on the farmyard.  He was aghast.  I think that’s when he first learned about the existence of Valentine’s Day.

“If you ask me, it’s all one big commercial hype over nothing,” he called down from his tractor, scratching his head.  And ever the lyrical poet, he added, “Just another day for selling things, what with Christmas being over and Easter far away.  Just like the fad of Mother’s Day.”

With that clarified, he put his woolly cap back on and returned to his task at hand,  cleaning up the manure on the yard.  Needless to say, I never got a Valentine’s card from him after that." (Excerpt from: Next Time Lucky").

I hate to admit that now many years, many admirers and many Valentine cards later, I agree with my now ‘Ex’. The last straw proving the commercialism of V-Day are the ravioli on sale at this time of the year. Yes, you guessed it. Heart-shaped and red.               d.
The frenzy of Valentine’s Day may be a necessary boost to the economy but also a time in a single’s life that many would happily skip over unmarked.
Be warned - these padlocks may be coming to a bridge near you...