Poor Alec didn’t fully realize that something was amiss or that he was in the departure lounge. I did not find the courage to explain how important financial stability was to me. I kissed him goodbye. The tears in my eye just suggested I was sad to leave him yet another time until we met up again.
I confess, to my shame, I sent him an email instead. “Alec, I want to break it off; we are too different in many ways.” To take the sting out, I added that I considered looking for a man with my own cultural background who spoke my language. And then the coup de grâce,
“I know this comes as a shock to you and that you will want to discuss matters with me when you get this; but I feel I have said it all and don’t know what else to tell you. Therefore, please don’t call me. It would only make it more difficult.”
He didn’t call me.
No more “I crave you’s.” No more phone calls. No more flowers. I felt more relief than loss, as if a burden had lifted from my shoulders.
At the same time, bickering doubts made me wonder why I wasn’t suffering more: perhaps my problem was something more sinister. An underlying problem that my Ex diagnosed for me years ago: that I couldn’t be happy because I was constantly looking for something better; that I was never satisfied.....
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