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Why is it so difficult to meet somebody today?

In spite of all the networking possibilities and social media?

If you are Single, Divorced or Widowed and want to get back into the Dating game, if you're looking for that elusive partner, you will be interested to hear how a pro went about it. I was a matchmaker in Ireland and had my own dating agency. I'm sharing my experience and insider views with my readers. For more info see my book's website:!

I had the honor of being asked to come on the local NBC show First Coast Living twice in the last week to give dating advice. If you missed it, you can read all that stuff in my book.

Thursday, February 6, 2014


When you first met, him he was fit as a fiddle. Sleeping with him was like sleeping with a blissfully peaceful baby. Banal thoughts such as “snacking” or even “eating” never occurred to him, unless his beloved stomach was completely empty, that is.
You used to share the same interests, the same concerns, the same visions, the same hopes.
You felt like the Luckiest- Woman- on- Earth.
Every time he saw you in front of the sink, he rushed to take your apron off, put the greasy frying pan aside and make wild sex to you. Let alone that afterwards, he sometimes washed the frying pan for you!
Your wish was an order. His kindness, as well as his chivalry, almost scared you. There were times when you found yourself on the verge of panic: “Who am I to deserve such happiness?”
From the blessed day when you met him, your life turned into a paradise full of tempting promises: of companionship, amusement, wellbeing, happiness, abundant and satisfactory sex.
What’s more, this one and only exemplary creature, this rare masterpiece, this marvel, wished with all his heart to make you his wife!
In short, he didn't just want to fool around, have some fun and dump you right after that. Nope! He wished to unite his life and his future with yours. You’re still wondering how you didn’t burst from happiness during that period of time.
Hence, although you were not a fan of marriage, although even the sound of the word “bonds” scared you to death, you finally gave in. Even worse, you agreed to appear in the church  (although you would have preferred  a civil wedding), in a wedding gown  (in spite of how ridiculous you felt) You see, your sweetheart’s parents happened to be pious and he also happened to be their first offspring to get married!
It was thanks to your tolerance and your acquiescence that some of his parents’ dreams came true.
In such a state of bliss, you entered what till then you considered an awesome dream. Unaware, of course, that that was the exact moment when your own personal nightmare was setting in.
For, it was right after the mystery of your marriage that things –mysteriously- started to change.
The first thing to change was his weight. The fit, cool boy you met and fell in love with, started to show an increasing appetite. Well, that might have been your fault. You were always cooking some specialty (or maybe it was his tendency to relax and let things –kilos included- find their way? Who knows?)
The usual weekend entertainment of cinemas and theaters has been replaced by tavernas and restaurants. The fit, muscly –yet slim- “athlete” of yours, has gradually turned into a sumo wrestler.
Every six months, just like a baby during his growth spurts, your “infant” needed new –larger sized- pants. Nevertheless you, just like the good mommy every wife is expected to be, felt blissfully happy that your sweetheart truly appreciated your cooking. You see, you had no idea what was awaiting.
Soon after, partly due to his weight increase –and partly to the fact that he had been suffering from adenoids since he was a child- your baby-love started snoring. Lightly and timidly at first, but now- in most recent years- either gasping like a train going uphill (the good news) or roaring like the Giant in the tale of “Jack and the Beanstalk.”(the not-so-good-news). Both “news” unbearable…
From then on, the washing up finished in no time . You must admit though that this was your fault: always tired, always stressed out, always exhausted. You see, you had already given birth to your first child and instead of becoming happier and in a better  mood, you kept grumbling all the time: because you didn’t have time for yourself, because your life’s journey was restricted to the one and only daily trip from work to home and vice versa.
No need to say that your desires were regarded as being more and more “preposterous”, “unrealistic”, “unacceptable”; As for Chivalry, every time he walked before you, always that is, the door banged in your face. “Equality”: wasn’t that your ideal?
That was the exact moment when you started wondering “Do I deserve to be so unhappy?”
What’s worse, this selfish person, this bloody egoist wouldn’t divorce you for any reason. In short, having ensconced himself, having found the sucker of his life, he wouldn’t risk losing his comfort. Let alone that you already had a kid.
 It’s a wonder how you didn't blow your brains out as soon as you realized the situation. Although you suddenly became a divorce fan, you made a virtue of necessity, and stayed in this marriage (that had already become a prison for you.) What’s more, you gave birth to a second child.  Self-destructiveness at its peak.
And had you not got a problem with your ovarian cysts, you would have given birth to a third child. As for your finances, they were already going downhill. You see, among all other brilliant ideas, you had decided to quit your job, too.
A woman's place is in the home was the saying that persuaded you to commit this absolutely fatal mistake. “Either you’re a mom or you’re a working person”. Just like we say “Smoking or Health, «Black or White”.  All kinds of false dilemmas.
So, you remained at home, chasing the dust and doing the laundry.
Every time you dusted your degrees you experienced some kind of depression. Your mind was overwhelmed by immature, crazy thoughts like “What the fuck? I’ve studied three languages to have my “sweetheart” telling me that I’m bigmouthed? Did I need an MBA  in order to do everyday household chores?
Thankfully, you soon recuperated by just concentrating on the consoling thought: “A woman’s most important role is being a mother”
You now are wondering why on earth (after this tremendous “cast”, starring you -as the mother, your husband -the proud father, featuring your two cute children, all of you immersed in happiness), you ended up swallowing antidepressants. Well, don’t ask me:
Ask the specialists!     

Kate (the Greek Bad Girl!) Papas

1 comment:

Siggy Buckley said...

So they have bad girls in Greece too? So glad to have you on board! Great sense of humor! Good luck with your WIP.