Some reviews

Why is it so difficult to meet somebody today?

In spite of all the networking possibilities and social media?

If you are Single, Divorced or Widowed and want to get back into the Dating game, if you're looking for that elusive partner, you will be interested to hear how a pro went about it. I was a matchmaker in Ireland and had my own dating agency. I'm sharing my experience and insider views with my readers. For more info see my book's website:!

I had the honor of being asked to come on the local NBC show First Coast Living twice in the last week to give dating advice. If you missed it, you can read all that stuff in my book.

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Don't Leave your Personality at the Door of a Relationship

A new short story (#8 in a series) written by the talented fellow Pen Sister Valerie Allen got my attention yesterday.
(It's still free on Amazon!)
"Potty Talk"- not exactly a name that would intrigue me, but since I know her craftsmanship I started to read it.
A young woman cleaning the stalls of a restroom overhears the conversation of two women who recently got divorced.
Why did they get divorced? Did the man cheat? Was he abusive, an alcoholic?
No such things."
"Petty things built up over the years and somehow 'our life' became 'his life."

Simple little things brought them to the edge to end their respective marriages: one didn't like his wife to wear white, the other preferred the AC to run full blast never realizing how his wife suffered.
That reminded me of my first marriage: He couldn't stand pop music and switched it off whenever he came into the room where i was listening.Or the constant quarrel about the temperature all over the house and particularly in the bedroom. (Well, I'll tell you a secret my libido just disappeared with frigid temperatures).
And guess what, the first thing I did as a new divorcee was turn up the heat whenever I wanted and I danced in the kitchen whenever I wanted to my favorite music.
There were other reasons to be sure, but these stuck in my mind. And they were not easily explained to the children.
In some cases it is the socks and underwear on the floor or the toilet seat up...Everybody knows marriage is about compromise but if you feel you're the one who has to give in all the time and doesn't get her needs met, something is wrong in the state of Denmark.
You will ask what the restroom cleaner had to do with it? She knows she has to straighten out a few things with her man.
She isn't married yet, but lives with her boyfriend.When she comes home from work (he doesn't seem to be employed), he is watching sports with beer in his hand and feet on the table.
She tries to get his attention:
"Please turn down the TV".
She wants to talk to him.
About things.
About what she overheard.                                          

"Wait, just this game."
"Wait, it's almost over."
She even tries to seduce him to switch off the TV.
No joy! So she cries in the shower...."I just need to talk to you..."
Will she leave him? I wonder.

Like I said in my book Next Time Lucky: Don't leave

"your personality at the door of a new relationship, something we women tend to do.  Having been brought up to be a good girl, to do the right thing, to please a man, not cause any fracas, we often ignore our own needs.  Even in bed.  I remembered the old saying ‘Good girls go to heaven – bad girls can go anywhere!’ I also thought about the advice I gave others:
Be who you are, know what you want and say it loud so that your man understands you because they are from Mars and we are from Venus: subtle hints don’t work.  You have to call it whatever it is.  Sounds easy when you start a relationship; you have an idea or so you think – until you run up against obstacles and problems. Life throws out so many distractions and influences that where one sets out to go is often not where one ends up.  But that’s okay.  Life is a journey – looking more and more like a road map than a straight line.  Things that have happened in your life have happened.  You are living the result of your prior actions."

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